How to say goodbye

I have been saying goodbye for 7 days. I’m at the dealer getting my oil changed and I even feel compelled to say goodbye to the nice guys who fix my car every three months.

I’ve said goodbye in a smile, a wave, a hug, a few hugs, a meal, and a two hour conversation. I’ve said goodbye to acquaintances, clients, professors, co-workers, roommates, people I’ve accompanied for 2 years, new friends, and friends I met on my first day of class 2 years ago. And there were some people I didn’t get to say goodbye to. 😦

Social media changes everything. Facebook ensures that at least one thread of connection will remain intact. I didn’t have that 9 years ago when I graduated from college the first time.

Yet, there’s a sad omission of finality with this connection. Not that I ever want to completely cut ties with someone, but waving off the reality of geographical distance because “we’re Facebook friends” somehow diminishes the significance of the relationship and how it will never be the same. It’s almost as if we’re afraid to be vulnerable and say “you mean a lot to me and it’s going to be hard to not be able to see you in person whenever I want.” I’m absolutely guilty of this. There are a lot of people to whom I am indebted the past 2 years, people who have shaped my life. People who have seen me at my best and my worst. Yet again, God has been faithful in surrounding me with a community of friends and colleagues in this season of my life, something I was worried about and prayed about a lot when I first moved to Winchester. I need to honor that.

Curiously, saying all of these goodbyes may be the best preparation I could have for my internship. Every patient I will have will be saying goodbye. My whole ministry will be about helping people say goodbye to their loved ones. Holy cow.

I believe, somehow, God will teach me how to say goodbye. Hospice is goodbye pedagogy. And what a gift that will be, to learn how to say goodbye. I think that could help a lot of people, whether they are actively dying or not.

So, to my loved ones who I’m leaving tomorrow: I don’t care if we’re Facebook friends. You mean a lot to me and I’m going to miss you. Thank you for bringing me into your life.

Moving…

I just spent a fabulous weekend in DC, visiting friends, going to museums, and attending a perfect wedding. Here are just a couple pictures from the weekend. This trip though, my final one to DC for a very long time, kind of marked the beginning of the end for this season of my life.

MJ and I eating Potbelly for lunch

The newlyweds!

Transitions are messy. And I am in one. Again.

I thought I’d give y’all a break from my existentialism and theology and give an update on what I’m doing nowadays!

I’m finishing up my 4th semester (technically 5th if you count last summer’s whirlwind of music theory combined with anatomy & physiology) at Shenandoah University in Winchester, VA, in which I am getting a professional studies degree in music therapy.

To be eligible to take the board exam for music therapy you have to get the proper education and complete an internship (these items being the two parts of the professional studies degree). I was fortunate to find and be accepted to an internship near my hometown. It’s with a Hospice organization and I will be there for six months.

(The reason I’m getting a professional studies degree and not another bachelor’s is because all of the music classes I took for my performance degree transfer to the prof. studies degree. So basically, the prof. studies degree is a fast track bachelor’s that fills in the gaps, but the classes are at graduate level [making it affordable {kind of}].)

I am also working on a master’s degree, which is a normal graduate degree – advanced practice, thesis, etc. So while the professional studies degree will allow me to take the exam and become an MT-BC, the graduate degree will give me an MM (Master of Music in Music Therapy).  I’ve only been a part-time student this semester, taking two classes, which are both going towards my master’s degree. I’m about halfway done with the master’s, but will take a break from it in the fall since I’ll be doing my internship. The plan/goal/hope/wish is to finish the internship around Thanksgiving, graduate with my professional studies degree, take (and pass) the board exam, get my credentials, and have a job by January. Then I’ll pick up the master’s classes again part-time.

So, I am moving back to Ohio in about 2 and a half weeks. And of course, just when the transition is starting, I’m finally feeling settled in Winchester. I’ve developed some amazing friendships that are now going to be long distance. Isn’t this always the way it works? It’s a catch-22 though, because you lament having to leave your friends but are grateful you have friends to leave!

The biggest win of course is being closer to my family. I’ll be living at home, and will be much much closer to all of my family. Which of course includes my pride and joy – my nieces and nephews. And this group will be growing soon! So I am very excited about being amidst my family instead of being afar.

If I may, I’d love some prayer. Prayer for a good end of the semester, that everything gets taken care of for my internship to start smoothly (paperwork, medical stuff, etc.), that I can transition back to my hometown after not living there (or Ohio for that matter) for about 8 years, and that I look to God as my constant through all of this.

I’d like to turn this back into a blog about music therapy again, so my plan is to focus on the internship here and give you a glimpse of what it’s like to work in Hospice.

I’ll keep you updated as I go along! I feel kinda weird posting my social media handles, but here they are in case you want to follow more closely…
Twitter: @sarahchil
Instagram: chilgirl21

Thanks for reading! Happy Monday 🙂

This Time Last Year

This time last year, I was getting ready to board a plane that would take me to South Africa. Being in South Africa was a great experience. My trip was clouded with a lot of emotional wreckage though. I certainly wasn’t spiritually or emotionally prepared. And I don’t mean in the sense that God was going to turn my world upside down kind of unprepared. I didn’t even have the capacity to let God do that. Looking back, my treasured moments from that trip are the nights at my host family’s house, watching Wimbledon, or the wedding of the Prince of Monaco to that swimmer from South Africa. My host parents, Leon and Dalene, became my surrogate parents, and that home, with the two cats and two dogs, became my surrogate home. They took care of me. And I needed it.

This time last year – last summer – was the hardest time of my life. So many things changed. In the time span of one month, I: 1) started an online class, my first class in 8 years; 2) Stopped teaching piano; 3) quit my job; 4) moved to a new town; 5) and went on an overseas mission trip. I do not advise this much change in such a short span. Also, due to my not thinking about the financial future, my bank account was severely depleting with no paychecks coming. After coming back from South Africa, I saw the last Harry Potter movie in DC (I haven’t seen a movie in a theater since), and then went running to my family in Ohio for a month to save money, rest, stock up on unconditional love, and try to figure out how in the world I was going to make it. I was so completely lost.

Now.

Now, I am so thankful that it’s now, and not last year. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s important for me to acknowledge God’s faithfulness in that between times of trial, He grants respite. I’m only halfway done with my certificate for music therapy. I’m literally starting my masters program today with two new classes. Eventually (maybe even next summer), I will have another season of major change, filled with uncertainty. But I think when it happens next, I’ll be able to weather it all a little bit better. I’ve learned some things about myself.

Everybody who knows me knows that I need time alone. A lot. I love people. But I need to get away from you all for long periods of time in order to be a normal human being. I’ve learned that the lack of that works the same way as lack of sleep or lack of food. It is essential to my daily living. Over the past year I’ve had the blessing of solitude. Sometimes there wasn’t enough. Sometimes there was too much and I got pretty lonely. But I function so much better when I’ve had time to myself. And I think it’s because I’m the type of person who has overactive senses, and I take in everything when I walk into a situation. I’m overstimulated, whether it be with the actual physical landscape, the nature of the conversation I’m having, or the amount of information I’m taking in over a short period of time. I need to go home, sit by myself, and process that.

I’m also learning that, in the words of my dear friend Tobi, “you get to the point where it’s too tiring to be anything but yourself.” I’m learning to love myself more, because God loves me just as I am. It’s a slow process and I’m still working on it. But, it really is less exhausting to just be yourself.

I’m learning that you really can live on very little. This is what you need to cut out of your spending: eating out, buying clothes, and instant purchases. To add to that, when you finally justify after several conversations with yourself that it’s okay to eat out this one time, or it might be a good idea to buy a new dress for a special occasion, and you’ve worked it into your budget, it’s so much more meaningful. Also, Netflix is the best thing to happen ever.

With all of that said, here are some things I miss:

1. I miss a lot of my friends in DC. I don’t really miss DC.
2. I miss going to the movies (I’m allowing myself to see two this summer, Brave and The Dark Knight Rises.)
3. I miss daily life without the constant guilt of the fact that I’m not studying. (I don’t get a break from classes this summer.)
4. I miss travel! Seeing pictures on Facebook of people traveling, especially overseas makes my heart ache. Not for them! I’m happy for them. I love travel. But it’s one of those things that I won’t get to do for a few more years, and when it does happen, it will probably be the best trip of my life! (as long as it’s not in the middle of an avalanche of change. I’ve learned my lesson on that.)
5. This isn’t really an “I miss” comment, but…I really want a dog! I absolutely love dogs and as soon as I get settled with my job and home and everything, I’m getting myself a dog. I don’t care if they tie you down.

So, wherever you are in life, thank God for where He’s taken you. If your life sucks right now, remember that God knew this was all going to happen and He will provide a way out for you, if you trust in Him. The sucky period just might be the marinade you need for a richer life later on. If your life is great, thank God for it, but to stay humble, remember the crappy times. For me, simply the fact that I’m used to being a student now, I’m happier in my own skin, and I don’t have to move this summer, is enough for me.

And that the Olympics are happening in one month. In London, my favorite city.

Rite of Passage

I worked on started and finished  a research paper last night. I worked from 5 pm to 5 am without stopping. Somehow, I’m not a ball of sarcasm and snark today. I give God credit for that. Although I did shush the undergrads in class when they were being loud. It was kind of delightful.

I consider my all-nighter a rite of passage. I never pulled one in my undergrad years. I remember classmates being up for HOURS finishing their binders for Music History I. For whatever reason, I never reached that point. Shrug.

But with my crazy accompanying schedule and being sick (see my previous post) I had to push the paper back. The topic of my paper is a comparison of a couple music therapy methods with the music of the Beatles. Once it’s finished (last night was just the rough draft. I know.) and my presentation is done, I’ll condense it to a blog-friendly post. I’m pretty excited about it.

One great thing about sleep deprivation is how funny everything becomes. I got the giggles for 5 minutes sometime in the wee hours because I accidently typed “Teables” instead of “Beatles.” And I kept typing “early ears” instead of “early years.” Oh Microsoft Word, you trickster.

In unrelated news: I have a pretty sweet announcement coming soon. Something to do with music therapy and crossing an item off my life goals list. Stay tuned!

Fact: I edited this post approximately 298 times before publishing. Research class has turned me into a machine. Also, I blame Donald Miller’s blog post about eliminating the use of the word “that.”

Melodic Intonation Therapy

This is a story about an experience I had last night. But first, some academics.

Melodic Intonation Therapy (MIT) is a method used by music therapists and neurologists to help people who have had brain damage or degeneration in communication. It is used often with people who have had a traumatic brain injury (TBI), a stroke, or anyone experiencing aphasia (the inability to communicate, verbally or non-verbally), especially expressive aphasia (not being able to verbally express what you are thinking – you have the words in your head but you can’t physically say them).

Most everyone has heard or learned about left brain/right brain characteristics.

The part of the brain that deals with speech production, specifically, is called Broca’s area, because it was discovered by the French physician Pierre Broca. When someone has the inability to make speech sounds, they have Broca’s aphasia. Broca’s area is in the left hemisphere. The part of the brain that controls singing and interpreting music is in the right hemisphere.

Why am I talking about this? Last night, Dr. Deforia Lane, a renowned and very much beloved music therapist, gave a lecture to the music therapy students at SU. She works at the University Hospital in Cleveland. Part of her presentation involved videos, as many music therapy lectures do (videos are the best evidence). This story is about one video that caught me off guard with emotion.

A man in his 70s, I’m guessing, had a stroke. He was African-American, bald head with white stubble on his face. His eyes were watery. He was a well spoken man before, according to Dr. Lane. He had been a deacon in his church. His stroke gave him expressive aphasia.

The video was about two minutes long. It showed the man in the his hospital bed – you could only see him from the chest up, and he was looking up and to his right at Dr. Lane, who was standing next to him, looking at him, and holding his hand. He was trying to speak to her, but the only thing that came out was unintelligible syllables. His voice was hoarse and he knew that he wasn’t being understood. He talked for about 20 seconds and none of it was understandable. Two things got to me. One was the look in his eyes. He was looking at Dr. Lane with a combination of sadness, fear, defeat, pleading, and fatigue. He knew he couldn’t talk and it was debilitating for him.  The other thing that got me was when he spoke, the movement of his lips and the timbre and pitch of his voice instantly reminded me of my grandpa.

My grandpa lived with Parkinson’s disease for the last 40 years of his life. He was 79 when I was born so I never knew him without it. He was a Methodist pastor for years and years and I never got to hear him preach a sermon. By the time I got into late elementary age, Grandpa sounded just like the man in the video. Unintelligible speech, hoarse voice, big lips making movements with no hope for communication. My grandpa used to get frustrated when my grandma couldn’t understand him. She was so patient. When I saw the man in the video speaking like that, it brought tears to my eyes, because I had shared that experience myself.

When the man finished speaking, Dr. Lane told him they were going to sing. They began to sing “This Little Light of Mine.” You could see a glimpse of appreciation in the man’s eyes, something familiar and comforting. Dr. Lane continued to hold the man’s hand, and she began tapping his hand with her other hand to the beat. You could see him moving his lips, trying to sing the words. It was very quiet, it wasn’t apparent if he was actually singing the words…

But he was. You could understand him – it wasn’t perfect. He was singing those words – light of mine, gonna let it shine. Then his eyes changed again. They went from surprise, to happiness, to hope. He would glance over to his wife (who was out of the picture) as if to say, “do you see what I am doing??” They sang two more verses of the song, and he kept up with it. One of the verses had “Jesus” in it, and hearing him sing Jesus almost pushed the tears out of my eyes and down my face.

It was amazing. It was music intonation therapy. Using something familiar to activate the part of the brain that still worked. He couldn’t say the word Jesus. But he could sing it. Amen.

I wish I had known about these things when my grandpa was still alive. I was only 14 when he died, so there’s no way I could have known MIT or any of the music therapy techniques that I could have used to make his quality of life better. Luckily, it was a good life. Virgil (or Reverend, which is what my dad called him) lived to be a hearty 92 years old, with a good head of hair and a peace that passes all understanding. His mobility, communication, and some cognitive faculties were gone, but he died healed. At least that’s what I believe. Not to mention he grew a cute mustache in the last years of his life. It made him look like a train conductor.

It’s stories like these that are evidence that music therapy is more than just “entertaining” someone. People receive PhD’s in music therapy. There are scientific journals. It’s the real deal. How would it help your loved ones?

What does an aspiring music therapist study?!

I know this question keeps you up at night and is still lingering when you wake up in the morning. So, in anticipation of your very important and often overlooked question, I wrote a blog post about it!! Huzzah! (please note the sarcasm in this paragraph.) (Not that I don’t have a geeky love for my future profession, but I know where it stands in great cosmos of life.)

First let me preface with what my classes have been like. Last semester I took three classes that were specifically for music therapy.

1. Applications of Music Therapy (pretty much an intro course)

2. Standards of Clinical Practice (in-depth study of the AMTA official document and applications of it)

3. Psychology of Music (totally fascinating class on how music affects the brain)

These classes were pretty much similar to many textbook based classes that most of you have probably taken. Theory based, lots of reading, lots of papers. Not too much hands-on, although we did watch a lot of videos as illustrations. But really, think of any gen eds you took beyond 101 classes and that’s what class was like. The other two classes I took were an introduction to special ed course (which I talked about here), and I audited a guitar class (to work on my still-not-badass guitar skills, but good enough for music therapy).

And just so you know what else was on my plate during all that – I played piano in the orchestra for two months, accompanied an acting class for 6 weeks, and accompanied about 8 people consistently during the semester. Add to that accompanying two clarinets for a competition, half a bassoon recital, and 12 juries.

SO- now we’re in semester duex of music therapy adventureland. It’s totally different this time. These are my books:

I have three more music therapy classes:

Music in Therapy/Music Therapy Methods – these two are pretty much a combined class. I’m still wrapping my head around what exactly the purpose of these classes are (we have yet to receive the syllabus). But for anyone who has a teaching degree, Methods is just like any other methods class. Music in Therapy I think will be about learning practical uses of all of the techniques, strategies, and methods we will be learning. This is a very hands-on class. We spent three class periods playing drums (think African drums) and learning how to conduct drum circles.

The third class is Influence of Music on Behavior. This class is totally different from the other two. This class is about how to research a topic, how to conduct a study, and how to write a report. So far it’s proven to be extremely helpful and I’m learning things about searching and research journals and articles that I never knew before. Our big project for the class is to either conduct our own study or write a giant literature review on a certain topic. I’ve decided I’m going to do the latter and I think my topic will be about music therapy affecting spirituality/emotional well-being in a Hospice context.

And that’s it!

Just kidding!!! I’m just getting started! NOW – I have two field placements. A field placement is where they actually let us go and attempt to do this music therapy thing with REAL PEOPLE. And not, like, a volunteer group of people that have nothing wrong with them. Real people with real problems that we’re supposed to use our music therapy “skills” to fix. Mind you, I’ve never done a music therapy session in my life. I’ve never watched one live. And I will be doing one in FOUR DAYS. Whatev. No big.

There are four field placements, we do three of them (you can opt out of one). They are in the four fields where music therapy is used: Gerontology, Mental Health, Medicine/Rehab, Developmental Disabilities. I am not doing the last one. This semester I am doing Gerontology and Mental Health. I can’t speak too much on these because of confidentiality. But I can explain a little.

For Gerontology (look it up if you don’t know this word) I will be working one-on-one with a woman at a retirement home who lives in assisted living. And for Mental Health I will be in a group of three working with the patients in the out-patient mental health ward at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Martinsburg, WV. Pretty heavy huh?

For both of these field placements I will be doing weekly sessions (30-60 minutes) and writing sessions plans, collecting data, getting materials ready, and turning in a ginormous binder for each class at the end of the semester with all of my work. Oh, and we have class once a week for each of these placements.

THEN – I have my accompanying, which has turned into my therapy. I am accompanying a senior acting class where the seniors get to showcase any of their audition-ready rep in front of the professors for feedback. That class is fun. And then I’m accompanying individuals – that hasn’t completely panned out yet. However, I am already committed to accompanying two participants in the concerto competition next week, a horn recital, and two clarinet recitals. And I’m helping with accompanying for music theater auditions during Shenandoah’s audition days (which I will be doing for approximately 5 hours today).

So, that’s it. For real this time. If you’ve read all the way down to here, THANK YOU! I know this stuff can seem boring, but I actually love it. These are the things that are on my mind and on my plate. Feel free to ask me any questions or leave any comments!

One Question

One of the classes I took last semester was an introductory special education course. It’s required in my music therapy curriculum for the field of developmental disabilities, a field where music therapy has proven to be very effective. One night in November, instead of having class, we had the privilege of going to the local cinema and watching a series of short films about (and in some cases, made by) people with developmental disabilities. The group of films was compiled by a company called Sprout. Their website is www.sproutflix.org.

I didn’t really grow up around people with developmental disabilities. There were instances here and there, but nothing long term. I’ve learned a lot in my classes and have a greater understanding and appreciation for people with developmental disabilities and their loved ones. One short film in particular really impacted me. So much so that I bought the download from Sproutflix because I think it’s a film that’s worth having around.

It’s called One Question and once you watch it there’s really no explanation needed about it’s message. The film is beautiful and humbling.

At first I wanted to embed the video here. Unfortunately my free blog won’t allow it unless I start paying. BUT, I just found out that Sprout is streaming the film for free for 7 days so you can watch it HERE. Please take the time, it’s only 7 minutes.

One semester in…

Here are some things I learned this semester from my classes:

Guitar:

I can’t play bar chords. But, I can play and sing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” in front of 15 older adults successfully, which was my final exam. p.s. when I was done one of the gentlemen told me “Judy would be proud.”

Special Education:

Teachers have a hard job. (I really already knew this, but having a night class half-filled with tired teachers confirmed it.)

There are 3385 administrative and legal hoops to jump through for any special education need for a child, followed by 952 pieces of paperwork. Despite this (or because of it), the United States by far has the best, most progressive special education legislation and procedures in the world. I read an article about learning disabilities in Japan and to this day, teachers believe the reason for the learning disabilities is their poor teaching skills, not a cognitive deficit in the mind of the child.

Music Therapy:

I could write a year-long series of how much I’ve learned about music therapy, so I’ll just stick with a few things…

We are hard-wired for music. Our brains have specific areas that comprehend melody, harmony, rhythm, timbre, duration, pitch, and tempo.

Mother-infant bonding creates crucial pathways in an infant’s brain that cannot be created in any other way. Mothers, sing to your babies.

The reason that music helps so much in the field of mental health is because it is a normal activity that draws people back into reality. Music is a temporal art. It’s not like a painting where you can look at it, leave, and come back. To listen to music, you have to be in the moment. And that is important for someone who isn’t grounded in reality.

A music therapist can change physiological processes in someone by matching their breathing/heartbeat/blood pressure/etc. in the tempo of a song and then slowing the tempo, thus slowing the breathing/heartbeat/blood pressure/etc. This lowers anxiety, stops panic attacks, helps with respiratory, and is much cheaper than medication.

Musical Response Stimulation is a method used with people who have lost the ability to speak (stroke, Parkinson’s). In this method, the music therapist will use “overlearned” verbal interactions, such as “How are you?-I’m fine” or “Silent night, holy ____” in song form. Because the responses in these interactions are so common, the client may respond naturally in song form – and SPEAK.

For a music therapist working in Hospice (where I am focusing), they must learn to be in the moment, because it may be the client’s last.

Sometimes the only result a music therapist may get during a 30 minute session is one smile at the very end.

And finally,

I LOVE MUSIC THERAPY!

Here are some things I’ve learned as a second-time college student who’s lived in the real world:

Life is not as dramatic as it was the first time around.

I still procrastinate, but the meaning of the word has changed.

I don’t know how I did college the first time around without a laptop and Google.

This generation of undergrads is addicted to their phones. Like, seriously addicted.

The food on campus is terrible. I’ve vowed to myself never to eat there again.

I’ve gotten really good at using transition words, such as nevertheless, moreover, and furthermore.

BS isn’t necessary when you actually know what you’re talking about.

Skipping class is wasting money. A lot of money.

Theater majors are the same no matter what year it is.

Professors seem more like friends than superiors. But I still highly respect them.

I fit in tremendously with my love of Harry Potter. Holy crap, the first Harry Potter movie came out when I was a freshmen in college.

I feel old. But apparently I look young. The average age people think I am is 24. Must be the bangs.

So this is what having experience feels like. It’s kinda nice, finally.

An Open Letter from an Accompanist

Dear Musicians,

I love accompanying. It’s my favorite form of playing piano. I love the collaboration with other musician(s). I love taking in different teaching techniques from the array of your teachers. I love supporting you as you do your best.

However.

If I may, I’d like to offer a few pearls of wisdom. I am by no means an expert, but I have been accompanying for more than a third of my life. I have my share of stories.

Rule #1 Be friendly. Yes, you are paying me, but I consider our partnership more than a business transaction. Please don’t treat me like another tool to get you through college, like your aural skills book or Finale.

Rule #2 Get me your music yesterday. As much as I like to sightread (and I truly do, I’m a total geek) I would rather not have to do so in front of your professor. If you don’t have the music, get it from the library and copy it. Or ask me, I have accumulated a lot of music over the years. Apologies don’t magically produce notes and rhythms. Easy rule: After you have completed the task of securing me as your accompanist, task number 2 is to get the music to me as fast as you possibly can.

Rule #3 It’s up to you to schedule rehearsals. A permanent rehearsal time once a week is preferred. If that isn’t possible, be aware that the longer you wait, the fuller my schedule gets.

Rule #4 Learn your music. I am absolutely here to help you and support you. But if you spend less time on your music than I spend on your music, it’s kind of a drag.

Rule #5 Unless you are a pianist yourself, you do not get to decide if something is easy to play. Two enormous hints are key signature and tempo.

Rule #6 Give me clean copies of the music. When you give me your music yesterday make sure all notes are visible and nothing is cut off. I’d rather have the bass line of the bottom staff than the name of the song. MT’s: have cue lines and cuts very clearly marked.

Rule #7 If it’s an orchestral reduction, cut me some slack.

Rule #8 Think very very carefully before you hand me anything handwritten. (This one’s a joke, sort of.)

Rule #9 If your lesson is canceled or you can’t make rehearsal, please remember to let me know. Common courtesy.

Rule #10 Say please and thank you.

One thing I tell all of my accompan-ees is: It is my job is to make it look like I messed up, not you. If you skip something, I’ll jump ahead and find you. If you lose your pitch, I will plunk it out for you. I will feed you lyrics in rehearsal. I will encourage you when you get it right. I’m on your side.

Let’s keep it that way 🙂

Yours truly,
A cheerful but occasionally disenchanted accompanist

Crazy Monday!

The morning I had today is just too crazy to keep to myself. Funny crazy. It was one of those days where you finally get somewhere alone and laugh to yourself “what the hell? what is going on today?” Luckily, the craziness of my morning had nothing to do with me being out of sorts, but everyone else, and I was there to help keep things from falling into utter chaos. So it was crazy but not stressful. (Stick with me, this is a long post, but it the funniest parts are at the end.)

My day started out with me getting up later than I wanted (normal day). Part of the lack of coping skills to this day I attribute to my poor eating habits. My eating habits are all out of whack right now because of 1) not giving myself time to make meals and 2) no food because I desperately need to go to the store. In fact, today I’ve had about 2 cups of coffee, some yogurt, a granola bar, a bag of popcorn, a bowl of mac and cheese, and some chicken pieces. I ate none of those things in the same sitting. (On Saturday my entire day’s meals consisted of a half a cup of coffee and crackers with peanut butter…for lunch…and dinner…that’s it.)

So I get to school and stake out a practice room, a little nervous that I now only have 1 hour to practice the music I have to know for a Wednesday-night-grad-school-audition-recording-session for one of my clarinetists. I hear my phone beep as I plop down my backpack and see that I have a text message from one of the theater professors that I met with for 5 minutes at the beginning of the semester to discuss accompanying opportunities for the musical theater department. The meeting was 5 minutes because there were no accompanying opportunities for the musical theater department – they had already hired people by the time they met me. However, this text message told me to check my email regarding an emergency with his acting classes. Turns out that the accompanist for 2 of his acting classes was having emergency surgery that day and could I accompany the classes until further notice?

Long story short (too late) I wrote back and told him that I could help with the exception of the end of one of the classes because of my own class conflicts. By this time I now only had 30 minutes to warm up/practice before I had to go to my first voice lesson of the day. [Aside: When I got to the voice lesson, it turned into one of those lessons where the s*#% kind of hit the fan and the girl was reprimanded for not spending enough time on her lesson material. When the teacher asked if she had practiced with me last week she actually had the gall to say that “we didn’t get a chance to practice” which was a little bold to say considering that she made absolutely no effort to meet with me, and I’m pretty sure had no intention to. *shrug* it’s her jury.]

So after that trainwreck of a lesson, I had 30 more precious minutes to practice before heading to this last-minute acting class that I agreed to help out with.

Oh my. I forgot what theater people are like.

I walk into this large rehearsal room full of 30 very loud students. I felt like I was walking onto the set of “A Chorus Line.” Everybody (everybody) stared at me and gave me a tentative “hi…” as in “is this girl lost?” The two theater professors come in and the one who had contacted me comes up to me and thanks me for helping him out. He then hands me a binder with the music that the students are working on. Half of it is songs from “Chicago” that are hand-written. Awesome. Then, my favorite part happens.

He goes, “so can you lead them in some vocal warmups? Thanks”

Uh. I blink my eyes a couple times. I think I said “really?” and then miraculously pulled out from the depths of my brain two warmups from yearrrrrs ago. Didn’t know this was what I had signed up for. When I told the students who I was and that I would be helping out they gave me a rousing round of applause (typical theater people :)) And then somehow I went into musical director mode.

The next hour was a chaotic jumble of instruction and adaptation, and I’m pretty sure I used up all of my brain cells for the day in that one hour. As soon as I was done with the current scene/song, the next group of students would come to me behind the piano and explain how their scene was going to go, telling me where they cut the music, how they’ve never danced their choreography to this music, and oh, can you help me with this key change? I’ve never gone over it with the accompanist yet. And don’t forget that I’m sightreading handwritten music. One of the songs had actually been hole punched on the wrong side and was in the binder upside down. Thanks to my carting around everything with me all the time, I happened to have a portable 3 hole punch to save the day. The piano had no bench and since those crazy “block” set pieces that apparently come with any and all theater rehearsal rooms in the world are the wrong size, I had to find anything that would be the right height. I couldn’t see over the piano to watch the students so I was going purely by sound.

My second favorite part happened when I peer around the piano for this girl’s cue for her song entrance and she’s wearing MY jacket as a prop!!! What the hell? I seriously didn’t mind that she was using it but she just grabbed it off of the block I had set it on without knowing who it belonged to. I just laughed incredulously to myself. I think I said “oh my” about 208 times in that class.

Finally, at 10 minutes to 12 I had to leave to go to my own class. I’ve never been so relieved to sit in a desk and listen to a lecture.

Can’t wait to do it all again on Wednesday!!!