p.s. at the top: another wonderful post from my boyfriend! You can find his blog here. May we all have the gratitude he displays!
You will arise and have pity on Zion; it is the time to favor her; the appointed time has come. Psalm 102:13
This week for me has been a nonstop crazy fest. I ended my last day as an After School director for Montgomery County yesterday and the days leading up to it had me thinking heavily upon a mix of my next chapter and the chapter I was just in. It’s been a crazy thee years (or four, I’ve lost track) of working this job as a supposedly temporary job until God opened my next door.
I can clearly remember seeing doors begin to open and then quickly slam shut in my face; when others stepped into a role that I thought was mine, and knowing that the ones who stepped into the roles I thought belonged to me were super unqualified. It drove me mad (with a hint of bitterness) to watch them get favor when I was stuck in temporary job paying my dues and everyone else’s it seemed. I remember thinking how much more that drove me to overwork, throwing myself fully into my current job, almost losing a lot of things important to me in the process. I think I can honestly say that there were a few points when I was ready to throw in the towel on ministry and leave it all behind, all because there was no doors opening up. It came with a lot of downs for me spiritually, and all because I couldn’t see what God was doing at large and within my own life.
But since I’ve had my chance to reflect upon my past three years – of all of those doors being shut – it leaves me smiling, as it showed me that God clearly poured out His favor on me! Not only had I been blessed within my job (after three months of working and getting promoted to the highest possible position over people who had been there longer than 4 years, growing the program beyond my own ability to handle, and providing me with great resources), I’ve made so many relationships and made a huge impact on the community. It became very clear to me on the last day, especially when I had kids crying because they would never get to see me again. It’s hard to think of the last three years as anything other than a blessing when God’s evident in what you did!
And to end things, as I look back, I would have hated the jobs I thought were supposed to be mine. God clearly knows what He’s doing when it comes to our own lives. I am grateful for His unique favor poured out on me, and His perfect timing for all things! And we should never be ungrateful for the doors He opens or doesn’t open, as He knows us far better than we know ourselves!