Thinking about my future

I wrote this blog post before I actually had a blog.  It inspired me to start my blog, today.  So, it kind of begins in the middle of my most recent journey.  I’ll fill in the gaps as we go.

I was walking to the metro today.  It was around 7:30 am and a nice balmy 85 degrees already.  The high today is 101.  I was thinking about the outfit I was wearing.  It’s one of my B-list outfits.  You know what I mean.  There are A-list outfits, the outfits that you wear as soon as you’ve finished the laundry, because they are 1. cute  2. comfortable  3. machine washable, and most importantly 4. flattering.  If any articles of clothing do not have all four of these qualities, they are automatically demoted to the B-list.  My B-list outfit today is kind of cute, pretty comfortable, yes, machine washable, but not the most flattering.  But it’s feeling like a B kind of day, so there you go.

I really don’t like dressing up.  Let me rephrase that.  I really don’t like dressing up when I don’t have a choice.  I like dressing up when we’re going out or to church or when I want to, not because I have to look “business professional,” even on Fridays!  If you know me, I don’t think “business professional” are two words that you would use to describe me.  More like “casual, comfortable.”

Which got me thinking about going back to school.  And how excited I am thinking about being able to wear jeans everyday.  And flip flops.  I could go on and on.  But that’s not the point of this post.  Thinking about getting to dress down for school (and hopefully in my new career) got me really excited about school again.  Which tends to happen when I’m not excited about my current environment, which by the way is happening more and more.  Three months out and I’ll be operating in two different universes, reality and the fantasy world of “anticipating college”.  Weird.  I am hoping that this excitement isn’t just about the fact that it’s all going to change, but that it’s going to change for the better and I am going to love this path God is taking me on.

I’m excited for two things.  First, that I am going to be learning again.  Full time!  But also maybe teaching?  I wonder that because I’ve been a teacher the past 3 years, and I’ve had a lot of experience accompanying.  I think I can safely say now that I have 10 years of experience.  This school seems to have an almost imbalanced focus on accompanying, or collaborative piano, if you want to be PC.  They actually have an undergrad degree in piano accompanying.  I feel like that’s a little narrow for a bachelor’s degree, but that means that they promote accompanying, which is good.  Maybe I’ll have the opportunity to help teach accompanying?  I’m hoping that I’ll be able to accompany vocalists and instrumentalists as my part-time job.  I never envied the grad piano majors when I was in undergrad.  They got all the procrastinators that waited until the last second to find an accompanist.  Or they got the ones who were dumped by other accompanists at the last minute (not cool, by the way.)  Am I going to turn into one of those grad students?  Still, I’d rather do that than work in retail or an office or something.

But to learn again.  Sometimes I feel like I get dumber with each passing day.  Or that I’m learning things that aren’t important or are useless.  I’m excited about focusing on one ideology for a couple of years and learning everything about it.  Dang, I’m just excited to take the class “Psychology of Music.”  I’m so weird. 🙂

The second thing I’m excited for is my new career as a music therapist.  I’m excited to have the skills and knowledge to analyze a person and know what kind of music will help them.  I think I’m excited about being a music therapist because I love that music can help people.  I know that’s kind of a “duh” statement, but it really resonates with me.  I’m excited to help a war veteran write a song on his guitar about his time overseas, that maybe getting his thoughts and feelings into a melody will wrench it out of the nightmare that won’t get out of his soul.  I’m excited to sit with a dying great-grandmother who remembers the good old songs from the 30s and play Gershwin and Porter to her delight while her arms dance in the air and her eyes light up again.  I’m excited to lay on the floor with a child and show them how music makes vibrations and how we can feel it in the floor and in objects; or sitting with them holding rhythm sticks and finding a rhythm with them that sounds strangely familiar, simply because it connects their mind to a long lost rhythm of a washing machine, or fan, or vacuum cleaner, or a toy that reminds them of when they were happy and things were normal, before the scary started.

I thought of all of these things while walking to the metro on a hot day in my B-list outfit.  Someday, it may still be hot, but I’ll be heading somewhere to help someone break through, using the skills and talents of music, the awesome gift that God gave me.

And I’ll be wearing jeans.

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One comment on “Thinking about my future

  1. […] I hope when I get to school this blog will become more focused and I’ll be able to empart knowledge that I learn about music therapy.  Which is why I changed the name to “Melodic Remedies” a while back.  I’m hoping to be able to blog a LOT more consistently as well.  I can’t wait for my life to slow down.  And also, to wear jeans everyday. […]

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